(00:00:02) - Are you ready to scale your business in a way that's aligned with your soul and profitable? I'm Kc Rossi, a business and leadership coach. I've been a full-time entrepreneur for 30 years and love business. I help conscious leaders increase their impact and optimize their lives. Join me each week for tips and deep conversations on cultivating confidence, increasing your visibility, elevating your vibration, and leading with purpose without burning out. Let's go.
(00:00:36) - Today we're going to be diving into three powerful practices that will help you feel grounded and stable. But before we do, let's talk about change. Change is inevitable. How we handle it is a variable in the equation. We can competently say that since 2020 and probably before that even, we've globally dealt with curve balls, some that we've been able to dodge, and some that we have felt like we've taken to the face. How is it that some people seem resilient as like the best rubber band ever constructed and others are still trying to take shape from being a mud puddle? I've been curious about the term resiliency and the connotations it has. Some have updated, bouncing back to bouncing forward, and yet others have moved into becoming anti-fragile. So there is no need to bounce in either direction. But let's break down a few things.
(00:01:35) - Carol Pemberton, author of Resilience, A practical guide for coaches says The suggestion that resilience is simply being able to bounce back most likely comes from its use in the physical sciences. I've found this really interesting. She continues to say a resilient material can return to its original state after being bent or stretched, often dramatically. Just think of a bridge spanning over a wide river, maintaining its integrity despite twisting in the wind, or a small flower growing through concrete. That's actually one of my favorite images. She also says that resilience in the human context has been described as a capacity to remain flexible in our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors when faced by life disruption or extended periods of pressure so that we emerge from difficulty, stronger, wiser, and more able. That's beautiful. So pause for a moment here and think about your own definition of bouncing back.
(00:02:47) - Okay, cool. Regarding the ability to bounce back, professor Patricia, long staff of Syracuse University says, but others argue, getting back to a baseline is not enough. The goal should be to come back stronger, better position for the future, and to bounce forward. Now, I relate to this as the past can never be recreated. It will always remain a distant memory. In rear view mirrors that we are constantly evolving, our cells are changing, our perspectives are shifting. Our priorities often change as well, especially after a tragedy in that bouncing forward feels empowering, like we can catapult outwards and upwards with a hope that we are stronger from the learning lessons. As they say, polishing a diamond is not a gentle process, but the result is illuminating brilliance, a brilliance that was always there, almost just waiting to be recognized, which is actually interesting to ponder. Similarly, without adversity, how will we stretch and grow? What will catalyze evolution and inner strength if everything remains the same? Again, let these words land and think about your own relationship with bouncing forward.
(00:04:17) - Nice. Then came the phrase coined by the New York Times bestselling author, Nassim Taleb who wrote the book, Anti-Fragile - Things That Gain With Disorder. That's quite a title. So life's challenges don't weaken you but actually make you stronger. Now, when I first heard this concept about anti fragility, I was all in. It seemed to up-level resilience and provide a sense of indestructibility as Nassim tells us, and we would be wise to remember. A wind extinguishes a candle, but fuels a fire. I'm gonna say that again because I think it's a really beautiful and powerful quote. A wind extinguishes a candle but fuels a fire. And in the same way, like the wind is just a circumstance. It's neither positive or negative, but depending on perspective, depending on how that actually interacts with the thing, it can either be productive or destructive. A wind extinguishes a candle so it can totally snuff it out, but fuels a fire, the exact same wind that oxygen can build this blaze that can be super powerful and constructive.
(00:05:41) - In fact, when anti-fragility was first relayed, to me it was really this piece of obstacles make us stronger, bring it on and eat obstacles like energy bars, Nam, nam, Nam, and I remember being like, holy smokes, like I don't wanna call in obstacles, especially because I'm a fan of manifesting and thoughts or things and all of that. But there was this like alluring concept of like, okay, let's not run away from our fear, but let's kind of look at it, face it, and have this intimate relationship with an obstacle versus it's something happening to me.
(00:06:24) - It's not if tragedy and drama or at the very least change is going to happen, but it's really about when is it going to happen and to expect it as a natural part of life. That didn't feel like a cynical attitude, but truth. And if you moved about with that knowledge or expectation that you wouldn't actually have to bounce back or forward from hardship because you would have a rock solid foundation that was built over time. An approach that would allow you to perceive the inevitable shakes and rumbles in a very different way, and one that relies on inner power and strength. So what about you? What are your thoughts on resilience? Are you in the bounce back camp, the bounce forward crew, or of the anti-fragile lifestyle? There is no one right way. The way that helps you cruise through life and work smoothly is your best choice.
(00:07:24) - Now, if you're currently feeling beat up, like you don't even have enough time to get off the floor and you're already getting knocked down again, it may be time to get curious about alternate approaches. So you know that to me, new information or reminders are really powerful, but if we don't put them into implementation, if we don't translate that into forward action, then it was just like mind candy and it's not gonna have transformational um, properties or aspects. So I know that because you're listening to this, you are really all about true change, not just tainment. So here are three powerful practices that will help you feel grounded and stable. Number one, which is actually kind of three, I'm sneaking in three, but I'm putting this under. Number one, focus on the big three. A way to bounce back and increase your ability to cope with life's challenges and stress is to prioritize your basic self-care routines.
(00:08:25) - This includes eating well, taking in food that's going to fuel you, that means giving you life sustenance, incorporating some form of movement on a daily basis so everything can be fluid and flowing and sleep. Getting in the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep each day. These basic building blocks may not be sexy, but there is a ton of research on each. And science shows us that focusing on nutrition, movement and sleep definitely increases our personal resilience. Now, Frederick NCI says he who has a why to live can bear almost any how amazing quote. So number two is tap into your personal values to bounce forward with ease, try outlining your values. Research findings suggest that even relatively short writing exercises seem to have quite long-lasting and dramatic effects. For example, in a study by Stinson and colleagues in 2011, a 15 minute values, affirmation, exercise continue to reduce relationship insecurity for four weeks after the initial exercise.
(00:09:44) - That's pretty incredible. So you're basically getting a whole month of value and results from 15 minutes of your effort. I would say that's a pretty big ROI. So give yourself permission to get creative. Use a vision board, art symbols, words, and poetry to fully get immersed in what you value. Now, if you need a few examples of values to get you started, you can think of integrity, connection, love, honesty, loyalty, and courage, just to name a few. I wanna invite you to have fun with this and let your inner child play. I've actually been facilitating a soul journey art path over the last year, and it has been awe-inspiring to see how women learn to discover their sole purpose through art. If you tend to stay in your head, your default may be to underestimate the creative, and I encourage you to break out and embrace something new.
(00:10:45) - Number three, adopt the OMS mantra. That's O M M S, and that stands for obstacles Make me Stronger. To adopt an anti-fragile mindset, take out a piece of paper or your favorite digital doc on the left, right challenges on the right, right, growth opportunities. Those are your headers. Now, list three situations that you're currently being challenged by under the challenge column, and then take a moment to imagine how these challenges are actually or have the potential to be growth opportunities for you. Now, if your right smack dab into some pretty hard territory, you may have to stretch your growth mindset to come up with ideas for that right hand side column, the growth opportunities column. However, if you breathe through it, if you slow down, I'm confident that water arises will be valuable and might even surprise you for the good. Don't leave this exercise without matching your growth opportunities no matter how long it takes. Again, an invitation to get out of the box and cultivate creativity.
So which of the above are you going to try on? I would love to know what works for you, sending grounded centered stability amongst the Stormiest Seas. Until next week, my friend, breathe joy.
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